Happier times....Happier places

How did the big boys do it?
Here I am in a Ph.D program. I never thought I would make it this far. There were so many times I tried to stop my self from getting anywhere near successful. Cause you see, unsuccessful, well that is easy to deal with. I mean I know how to do unsuccesful, hell that is all I've ever seen in my life. All you have to do to be properly unsuccessful is "be miserable and blame everybody around you". That is easy.

Now I am near and it is so scary, so overwhelming. I still feel like I'm completely over my head.
There was one time, we went to this undergraduate research conference for minority and the chair of the NIH program got on the microphone. He said that when he was in grad school he would wake up, look at himself in the mirror after a shower (I hope), and he would greet himself "Good morning Doctor".. I guess that was a way for him to get himself accustomed to the idea that one day he would be a big time Ph.D.
I tried his method 2 times. I ended up falling on my ass laughing...both times.

But here I am, just struggling with everything, lab, class, papers, presentations, vacations, health.
Next week I have a presentation. The week after that I have a test and a wedding to go to. And then the week after that I have another presentation. Somewhere in between all this I am supposed to start another rotation and Don't forget the mock grant I have to write.
OH GOD! overwhelming..... I had a nightmare last night in which for some reason I couldn't figure out I decided to start taking Bacterial Pathogenesis now! I was sooooooooo stressed out. Even in my dreams I am stressed out.

When we are in traumatic situations we tend to make our thoughts roll into a happier time into a better place. Right now my place is that fantasy me and Carlos have. The one where we buy a house in Capri near the water, and we buy a little boat. Carlos goes fishing everyday, brings back dinner. I stay at home or go manage the little cofee shop we have with our daughter. Ahhhhhh....Big long sigh.. That is so much better. I can almost feel the sun on my face. I can almost hear the ocean waves...oh wait that it the centrifuge... Got to go folks.
Bye