Changes

This morning as I was driving across the Bay Bridge I was remembering about where my school education began.
My first school ever was in New York, specifically the Bronx. All I remember about that place was that I felt so alone, so abandoned, that the teacher did not allow me to write the number “8” upside down so I lived in constant fear of being critized for writing it different. I also used to wonder what was wrong with me? Just because I used to start writing the number from the bottom instead of the top, like almost everyone else. I remember there was one day a huge knife fight began in the school and I ran out earlier than usual to my bus stop. Then the last thing I remember was me saying, “so that is it, I am done. No more school!” and my mom clarified to me that I still had many years of school left… You see even at that age I didn’t understand why we had to fake graduations from primary school when we had so many grades left.

After that school year my mom and I moved to the Dominican Republic. I remember one time I attended school at a lot. What do I mean by lot? Well, the teacher had a board, some chalk, and the students, me and my cousins, sat literally on rocks while she taught. There was no roof, no walls just a bunch of rocks and left overs from an abandoned construction site.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many fancy schools in the Dominican Republic but then there are also some very poor ones such as that one.
The last school I attended in the Dominican Republic had small classrooms and big boards. I remember that back then my biggest worries were guessing how to spell tomato in Spanish in final test. My mom was waiting for me at the door of the classroom (had come to pick me up) and whispered the answer to me, since I had been taking so long and was sitting so close to the door.

As I was going thru all of these memories it all the sudden hit me that I was a girl that had gone from learning how to add while sitting on a rock to the Gladstone Institute and learning how to transfect cells. I smiled.
What a transition huh? We’ve come a long way baby! We sure as hell have!

100th idea but the number doesn't matter cause it still sucks

hey kitties,
On friday I met up with a couple of postdocs from the lab. I felt awful because the idea that I had come up with was just not good enough in many ways. You should have seen the stack of papers I had on my desk. It was just past ridiculous. But I was just beginning to like my idea. It was about the nuclear retention of HIV RNA. I could have gone in so many ways with it.
But I got a no. This is the 2nd no I've gotten, but who is counting. I am at the end of my spinal chord here.
I don't want to work on this. I am tired and I my spirit is just "dead en el piso". Whatevers...if there is one thing I've learned from reading my own posts is that I always find a way. But I just wish I had something kitties. I really do.

Here is the plan. I am going to look into one more idea, I am going to talk to another post doc, and then if none of that works then I am talking to the boss.

The good news this week:
(1) The husband is still delicious.
(2) My 293T cells are finally getting into their senses. I think thats just because they know that my Post doc is looking. They know they can't mess with me anymore.

Sees you all later. Lots of love.