Retrovirology Conference

Hello Kitties,

My problems with Dr. Diva are over. The tests finally made it to his fucking stupid asshole. The reason why I am extra mad is that the MCB department sent me a messege saying that the grades were due Tuesday. Which means that all the previous emails I've posted on the blog are just his bullshit. It is not that he needed the tests it is that he was being a SUPER DIVA.
GOD I hate human beings. Especially idiotic San Franciscans who think that everything should be done for them whenever they feel like it.

Anyways... enough with that. I am at the Retrovirology Conference in Cold Spring harbor, and I just feel like my PI wasted his money. What am I doing here? I don't belong here. These people are brilliant. I am an idiot. I can't even pipette very well. In the mean time there are these people who have done such beautiful work. There is a British graduate student I met here. He has published 7 times and I think he is only in his 3rd year. It is not that he has published this many times but his publications are phenomenal. He has published in Science in Nature in Cell. He is motherfucking BRILLIANT.
Me? Oh you wanna know how many times I have published?

I feel so bad. I sat at those talks and I couldn't understand 3/4 of the talks. There was a session that I understood. It was about the viral budding of HIV. How VPU and a transmembrane protein called tetherin work. There was another one where they talked about the ESCRT system. But I didn't understand anything else. I feel like such a failure. Like such an idiot and I can't help it. I feel like I am never going to be a good scientist and it just makes me cry.
Why? OH WHY Do I want this so badly?